Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Bo Fo' Sho'

Enjoy the lyrical stylings of Bo Burnham...

Like a tampon theif, he had to pull some strings.

Friday, September 26, 2008

That First Step Can Be A Doozy...

Are you constantly irritable?

Do you find yourself angry, always ready to snap? Do you wake up each morning with a sense of pervading misery that follows you around all day? Do you find that every social situation you enter becomes tense, combative and downright nasty?

If you answered "yes" to these questions...

You might be an asshole!

PharmexCo has recently developed a new treatment for people just like you. If you find that you suffer from the common symptoms of being an asshole, such as constantly arguing about everything, making other people feel terrible to try and give a boost to your damaged sense of self esteem, being embittered and snide then talk to your doctor right away about PharmexCo's new treatment:

A Solid Punch Right In The Face™

A Solid Punch Right In The Face™ has been proven to help assholes calm down, making them, and, more importantly, everyone around them, a heck of a lot happier.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Let's Go Mets Fans! Let's Go!

In the second game of a doubleheader at Shea Stadium a beer-filled young man peacefully falls asleep in his seat during the game.

Bad decision.

Don’t worry though, the caring and compassionate New York Mets fans "take care" of the guy in a hilarious way.

They turn him into a human Jenga block...

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Gabriel's Brand New Glasses

Recently Gabriel started saying that he was having a little trouble seeing things at a distance, so Season took him to the optometrist to have his vision checked out. Turns out he needed glasses.

Well, today he came home wearing his new glasses.

The frames are made by X Games Eyewear.

I think he looks great in them!

Now if we can only get Season to wear her glasses...

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

David Blaine Is At It Again...

Magician David Blaine has begun his latest amazing stunt during which he will attempt to hang upside down for sixty hours!

Not continuously though, he does takes fifteen minute breaks approximately every hour where he gets to stand upright. These breaks are so he can drink water and have his vitals checked.

Sounds a lot less amazing when you hear that part.

The stunt will finish with Blaine taking the "Dive of Death", where he will fall forty-four feet to the ground though!


I lost interest in him when he stopped doing street magic and became a fauxgician/stunt man. His continued fame is inexplicable to me considering how many people you can watch hurting themselves and doing stupid things on television and YouTube for free who don't garner this much media attention.

Here are a couple of funny videos spoofs of David Blane's simpler beginnings as a street magician...

Friday, September 19, 2008

Nerd Pride

Sometimes, for no particular reason, the melody of this song gets stuck in my head and plays over and over on a never ending loop...

Have a great weekend!

Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Avast, ye scallywags! Today is International Talk Like A Pirate Day!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

You Really Move Me...

The last time I was putting together a piece of flat pack furniture I came across these small boards which were sandwiched between the actual functional pieces in order to keep them from rubbing up against each other during shipping. These little boards appeared to be scraps from production of the furniture as they were made of the same fine hardwood. They would be seemingly unremarkable, except that across each of these boards was written the single word...


This of course was written in the imperative. It is a command to anyone that reads it telling that person that this board needs to be removed from its current situation.

This is all well and good when its purpose within the packaged article is served. However, from the day that fateful instruction was scrawled across the face of that board until the end of time that poor object will never find its place.

Everywhere it finds itself it will simply sit there, telling anyone that comes across it that it must be removed.

One could attempt to end this once and for all by completely destroying the board, but to do so; one must put it in a place where this can happen. The result of this simple fact should be obvious.

If one throws it in a fire, it will instantly command that it be removed. If one throws it in the trash it will continue to demand its own removal.There doesn’t seem to be a way out of this quandary.

The moment those faceless workers wrote the word REMOVE on that board they robbed it of having any place in this, or any, universe. Consequently, they robbed it of having any purpose (other than the trivial purpose of being removed) and they robbed it of any real existence. It is no longer a real thing; it is simply a reference to its own need of removal.

I have kept one of these boards, and I shall spend my life constantly removing it from one place to another. I will remove it in every way I can and from every place I can, for it is my quest now, not only to fulfill the purpose of that board, empty as it may be, but to remind myself of my own tenuous place in this world.

It would seem we ourselves are but one ill-chosen tattoo from this very limbo; we are but one single word away from losing all meaningful existence or purpose.

The Mortgage/Financial Crisis...

Let's take a look at what was going on in Washington about five years ago...

The Bush administration today recommended the most significant regulatory overhaul in the housing finance industry since the savings and loan crisis a decade ago.

Under the plan, disclosed at a Congressional hearing today, a new agency would be created within the Treasury Department to assume supervision of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, the government-sponsored companies that are the two largest players in the mortgage lending industry.

The new agency would have the authority, which now rests with Congress, to set one of the two capital-reserve requirements for the companies. It would exercise authority over any new lines of business. And it would determine whether the two are adequately managing the risks of their ballooning portfolios.

Among the groups denouncing the proposal today were the National Association of Home Builders and Congressional Democrats who fear that tighter regulation of the companies could sharply reduce their commitment to financing low-income and affordable housing.

Remember this when Democrats try to blame President Bush and Republicans for the current economic fiasco.

And if that’s not enough, how about this:

Lehman Brothers collapse is traced back to Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, the two big mortgage banks that got a federal bailout a few weeks ago.

Freddie and Fannie used huge lobbying budgets and political contributions to keep regulators off their backs.

A group called the Center for Responsive Politics keeps track of which politicians get Fannie and Freddie political contributions. The top three U.S. senators getting big Fannie and Freddie political bucks were Democrats and Number two senator Barack Obama.

Hope and change, my friends…hope and change.

Now remember, he’s only been in the Senate four years, but he still managed to grab the Number two spot ahead of John Kerry, decades in the Senate, and Chris Dodd, who is chairman of the Senate Banking Committee.

Fannie and Freddie have been creations of the congressional Democrats and the Clinton White House, designed to make mortgages available to more people and, as it turns out, some people who couldn’t afford them.

Since the media seems unconcerned with Obama’s affiliations with domestic terrorists and convicted criminals, maybe they’ll ask a few questions about Obama’s ties to the mortgage/financial crisis...

Don’t hold your breath, though…

Tuesday, September 16, 2008


I finally got around to watching the first episode of Fringe, the new television show from J.J. Abrams the creator of LOST.

It didn't hook me right away like LOST did, but I enjoyed it.

The title comes from pseudoscience or fringe science. Science which departs significantly from the mainstream and is classified as being on the "fringes" of credible academic disciplines.

It reminded me a lot of X-Files (which I am sure it has been compared to already) and Millennium, two great shows.

The cast/plot seemed a little unimaginative:

It's got a dedicated female F.B.I Agent with some emotional damage and trust issues (probably a lot more by the end of the first episode).

A male wild card/genius/skeptic to provide sexual tension and perhaps even become a love interest later on.

A mad scientist (also the father of the wild card/genius/skeptic guy) who can be very lucid in one moment and kind of insane in the next (not scary insane though, more like Rain Man).

A Mega-Corporation whose power and sinister intentions will hopefully become clearer as the series progresses along.

And a possible government conspiracy.

The story was mildly intriguing though, and the ending did generate curiosity in me about future episodes.

The second episode airs tonight and I'll be checking it out to see if this show will become something I regularly watch or if it will go the way of every other rehashed sci-fi show recently.

If you haven't already seen it, check out the first episode below...

Monday, September 15, 2008

Keep Hope Alive...

Help us Candidate Luke Skywalker, you're our only hope!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Remembering 9/11...

The memory of the cowardly terrorist attacks of 9/11 has aged another year, but it has certainly has not faded. I will never forget.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Bright Lights, Big City...

What is it with headlights today?

They seem to be getting brighter and brighter and brighter.
So super bright that they're blue, headlights. You know the ones, the kind that UFOs use as landing lights. The ones that have roughly the same candle watt power as the Sun. Headlights that can burn out your retinas. These things are so bright Ray Charles would jump up from the back seat and say "What the hell just passed us?!?!"

Yeah, those headlights.

It's not so much the added brightness, but its the aiming, much like taking a piss in a coffee can, aiming is important. Especially with SUV's and large trucks where the plane of main visual focularity is much higher than the normal. They need to be lower, much lower.

Are these people so challenged to see in the dark that they need extra-ordinary amounts of lumens just to see? If so, I really don't want to be driving on the same road as these raving psychos.

So if I flash my high beams at you it's because one of the following:
  1. There is a police officer down the road, beware.
  2. You're a prick and your high beams are on for no reason.
  3. Your lights are set to normal but they are too bright and shining right at me. In short - you're a prick.
  4. You have one light out or on normal and one on high beam. You're also a prick, only now your'e a cheap prick. Get it fixed.
  5. I'm being stabbed, please call for help.

Monday, September 08, 2008

Obama - Not Ready...

Seems to me that this video shows that a lot of Democrats don't/didn't believe Senator Obama is/was ready to run for President.

Democrats like:

Hillary Clinton

“McCain has never been the president, but he will put forth his lifetime of experience. I will put forth my lifetime of experience. Senator Obama will put forth a speech he made in 2002.”

Clinton spokesman, Howard Wolfson

“Senator Obama is a fabulous orator, but we need more than words. We don’t need someone who says one thing and does another, somebody who talks a good game but doesn’t have the courage of their convictions. And on issue after issue, Senator Obama says one thing and does another.”

Joseph Wilson

“Obama’s gyrations on Iraq, Afghanistan and Iran are not the actions of one imbued with superior intuitive judgment, but rather the machinations of a political opportunist looking to avoid having his fingerprints on any issue that might be controversial, and require real judgment, while preserving his freedom to bludgeon his adversary for actually taking positions as elected office demands. It is hard to discern whether Senator Obama is a man of principle, but it is clear that he is not a man of substance. And that judgment, based on his hollow record, is inescapable.”

Geraldine Ferraro

“If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position. And if he was a woman of any color he would not be in this position. He happens to be very lucky to be who he is. And the country is caught up in the concept.”

Democratic Rep. Dan Boren from right here in Oklahoma

Democratic Rep. Dan Boren of Oklahoma said Tuesday Barack Obama is “the most liberal senator” in Congress and he has no intention of endorsing him for the White House.…Boren, the lone Democrat in Oklahoma’s congressional delegate, said that while Obama has talked about working with Republicans, “unfortunately, his record does not reflect working in a bipartisan fashion.”…“Our nominee is not my first choice.”

Anthony Weiner (D-NY)

“Sen. Obama says he’s going to fight for his positions. In order to do that you actually have to have a position.”

Stephanie Tubbs-Jones (D-OH)

Obama “avoided taking stands on tough issues” like gun control, abortion rights and taxes.

Even his own running mate, Joe Biden, has admitted that he didn't believe in Obama.

"I think he can be ready, but right now I don’t believe he is. The presidency is not something that lends itself to on-the-job training."

More importantly did you catch that last clip?

Senator Obama, himself, said:

“You know, I am a believer in...in knowing what you’re doing when you apply for a job. Uh, and I think that...if I were seriously to consider running on a national ticket, I would essentially have to start now, before having served a day in the Senate. Now there may be some people who are comfortable doing that, but I am not one of those people.”

Well, guess he is "one of those people" after all.

At least he still has support from his friends...like his convicted fundraiser buddy, Tony Rezko, close friend and family preacher Jeremiah “God Damn America” Wright, his Pentagon-bombing colleague and supporter William “Kill all the rich people” Ayers, friend and PLO fundraiser, Rashid Khalidi and supporters in seven states nobody else knows exist.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

MTV Sucks...

The VMAs are on tonight and it struck me just how bad MTV sucks.

I suppose I shouldn’t expect too much from a music video awards show held by a channel that doesn’t play any music videos.

MTV was created in the early nineteen-eighties because somebody discovered bands who had music videos to promote the sales of their albums sold at least forty percent more records than bands without one. This piece of information sparked interest to make a channel devoted to and for music, music videos and music news.

I am old enough to remember watching MTV's first broadcast.

Does anyone else remember watching MTV and loving all the variety of music they used to put on the air?

Remember when they actually employed intelligent and knowledgeable people who knew about bands, music and the music industry?

They threw all that out the window a long time ago.

What MTV has evolved into is so unwatchable to me that it makes my brain hurt when for some un-Godly reason it remains on my televison screen for more than thirty seconds.

The channel has gone from being a cutting edge iconic symbol from my youth of rock n' roll rebellion into a symbol of corporatism, inane diatribes, non-existent moral values, hypocrisy, spewing out the most ignorant and distasteful of the "reality" shows out there and the promotion of mostly cookie cutter, no talent, lip syncing ass-clowns.

I no longer want my MTV.