Friday, September 26, 2008

That First Step Can Be A Doozy...

Are you constantly irritable?

Do you find yourself angry, always ready to snap? Do you wake up each morning with a sense of pervading misery that follows you around all day? Do you find that every social situation you enter becomes tense, combative and downright nasty?

If you answered "yes" to these questions...

You might be an asshole!

PharmexCo has recently developed a new treatment for people just like you. If you find that you suffer from the common symptoms of being an asshole, such as constantly arguing about everything, making other people feel terrible to try and give a boost to your damaged sense of self esteem, being embittered and snide then talk to your doctor right away about PharmexCo's new treatment:

A Solid Punch Right In The Face™

A Solid Punch Right In The Face™ has been proven to help assholes calm down, making them, and, more importantly, everyone around them, a heck of a lot happier.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Sharp As A Marble said...

Do I need a prescription or can I just order a half dozen right now to distribute liberally at work?

27/9/08 00:29  
Anonymous fidelio said...

If I don't have access to PharmexCo brand A Solid Punch Right In The Face™ can I substitute for No Frills brand A Hard Kick In The Balls?

28/9/08 00:06  
Blogger sid said...

What about throwing a stapler at my coworker? Or would that make me the asshole in the situation?

29/9/08 06:12  
Blogger Digital Fortress said...

SAAM – It is only suggested that you get the professional opinion of a PharmexCo certified doctor, but you won’t need a prescription to administer A Solid Punch Right In The Face™ to an ailing asshole.

Mason - Clinical trials have proven that A Solid Punch Right In The Face™ tests above and beyond other methods of dealing with an asshole.

Sid – In caring enough to ask questions you have revealed yourself to not be an asshole. An inanimate object, like a stapler, may cause the focus of the remedy to be displaced and dehumanizes the dispensing of proper treatment such as A Solid Punch Right In The Face™. It is best to show the asshole that you are reaching out to them, with your own hands, and in that manner let the healing begin.

29/9/08 22:45  
Blogger country roads said...

I'm getting an open prescription for that and passing it out.

30/9/08 10:45  
Blogger Digital Fortress said...

Country Roads - Treatment can be doled out as needed, but try not to exceed thirty to thirty-five treatments as the repeated head trauma may cause an overdose leaving you stuck with a mentally retarded asshole.

30/9/08 14:27  
Blogger country roads said...

The beach is at/near Cape Hatteras, NC. We were staying in Avon and fishing in Buxton about 12 miles away. The store is in Buxton. If you like quiet time, those are 2 perfect towns after the main season's over!

I'll have some more pictures hopefully this week.

1/10/08 08:51  
Blogger Digital Fortress said...

Thanks! I going fishing there for that awesome beer coozie as soon as possible.

1/10/08 12:54  

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