Wednesday, March 11, 2009


A cliff is a convenient plot device...

I have seen a lot of real cliffs, but that is an entirely different story about how bad ass I am. One for another time.

Really many actual cliffs do you think the average person has ever even seen?

In fact, you have probably never seen a real cliff in your life.

Okay, maybe one, two tops.

Now compare that with how many cliffs are seen in movies, television programs, whatever.

The average fictional character encounters a whopping 1.58 cliffs every hour. In fact, 0.00027% of the world inhabited by fictitious people is occupied by cliffs. Not by my measurement, by someone else's; someone who has more credibility than me (note: I made this number up, also the one before it).

The point is this: The average person is never flung off a cliff, or forced to catch someone who has been flung off a cliff, or has assisted the person they intend to duel to reach the top of a cliff, or decided to drive their car over a cliff to avoid capture, or fooled their enemy into thinking they have fallen off a cliff only to slowly climb back up after said enemy has left the area, or skidded slowly towards a cliff while fighting for some life-altering treasure, or, for that matter, has had the life-altering treasure fall off a cliff and then has had to go get it, perhaps by intentionally diving of the cliff.

Fictional characters, however, do this all the time.

Suspension of disbelief can only go so far when it comes to cliffs.

Let's hold fiction to some standard here folks.


Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

That's a cool graphic on the sign. That picture says, "I am so fucked."

11/3/09 13:51  
Anonymous fidelio said...

I agree. Cliffs, in the literary sense, are very overrated.

11/3/09 15:40  
Anonymous Mike said...

I just realized this relative abundance of cliffs in movies after reading this post. I remember in the movie Bowfinger when Eddie Murphy is talking to his producer about making a new film and the line is "nice meeting you, Cliff!" and then he pushed the guy named Cliff over the cliff. Cheesy line, glad its not in a real movie.

I've rock-climbed before so I've rapelled off of cliffs and climbed them tons of times. Rapelling off a cliff can be nerve-racking the first time when you're jumping down since you haven't learned to fully trust the gear yet.

12/3/09 00:14  
Blogger Marie Reed said...

This is great stuff! Hilarious;)

12/3/09 04:17  
Blogger Zainad said...


When I was 9 I slipped and kinda got stuck on the edge of a cliff but cuz my siblings were around they got a hold of me though. That's the only cliff thing I just recalled after reading your post:)

15/3/09 02:19  
Blogger Jenny Georgio-who said...

This made me laugh lots and lots and lots! I don't know why. LOL Have you ever been to Greece? OMG between Athens and some small ass backwards village we had to go up and down a mountain and there were no posted speed limits, the roads were apparently two way when one car BARELY fit...and of course no guardrails so if you lose control you are falling off a cliff/mountain. Not very fun.

And yep when I was going up and down that mountain and I kept thinking "This isn't real life I must be in a movie cuz this shit is unreal". I should mention I was also slightly intoxicated.

15/3/09 15:32  
Anonymous Sharp As A Marble said...

Very funny!

27/3/09 09:56  

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