Monday, March 16, 2009

End Of Life Decisions

This should not be considered a final will and testament, as, obviously, it mentions none of my assets, which will be dealt with in other documents. However, what follows is, in fact, a true statement of my final wishes.

I have often told people that upon my death, at the conclusion of the after party, I want my dead body to be shot out of a cannon and wherever it lands that is where they should bury me.

I don't think it is too much to ask for and it seems like a good way to go out with a bang, so to speak.

I am now considering a different method to dispose of my earthly remains.

Logistical issues aside, upon my death the following should be performed:

I want my body to be placed into a Superman costume and flash frozen into this pose:

The frozen remains should then be launched into outer space.

None of this geosynchronous orbit crap either. I want to be on an extra-solar trajectory.

Why? Because an alien armada on it's way to Earth could come across me and decide that maybe they better make a U-turn and head back to Quasar F-73 and re-think their invasion plans.

So it is written. So let it be done.

7 Comments:

Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Did you see how Hunter S. Thompson was sent off? His ashes were fired out of a custom made cannon! For real!

I believe the funeral industry need to be taken down a peg. They prey on people who are in a vulnerable state (to say the least). I want my ashes scattered in a variety of places; Central Park, the Metropolitan Museum of Art, a casino in Las Vegas, a casino in Atlantic City and a beach along the Jersey shore. No pine box for me!

16/3/09 14:52  
Blogger Digital Fortress said...

Holy Crap!

No, I had no idea anyone else, let alone Hunter S. Thompson, also had the idea to have their remains fired from a cannon! I've been saying it for as long as I can remember.

It's inspirational, but now, no longer original. I guess I'll have to go with the shot into space plan.

16/3/09 15:32  
Anonymous fidelio said...

I can attest to the fact that you have had that idea for at least the many years that I have known you. I know you have respect for Hunter S. Thompson, but you should sue his estate for copyright infringement. The settlement may go a long way to fund launching your dead carcass into outer space.

16/3/09 16:07  
Blogger Season said...

Wow, I can't believe you changed your mind from being shot out of a cannon.

16/3/09 17:30  
Blogger Digital Fortress said...

I know! It is a difficult decision, but it had to be done.

16/3/09 20:12  
Anonymous popomatic Jeff said...

I think this is a great idea. Where do I sign up?

17/3/09 10:19  
Anonymous Sharp As A Marble said...

Sign me up as well. I want to be sent up as Bob's Big Boy.

27/3/09 10:02  

Post a Comment

<< Home