Monday, March 16, 2009

End Of Life Decisions

This should not be considered a final will and testament, as, obviously, it mentions none of my assets, which will be dealt with in other documents. However, what follows is, in fact, a true statement of my final wishes.

I have often told people that upon my death, at the conclusion of the after party, I want my dead body to be shot out of a cannon and wherever it lands that is where they should bury me.

I don't think it is too much to ask for and it seems like a good way to go out with a bang, so to speak.

I am now considering a different method to dispose of my earthly remains.

Logistical issues aside, upon my death the following should be performed:

I want my body to be placed into a Superman costume and flash frozen into this pose:

The frozen remains should then be launched into outer space.

None of this geosynchronous orbit crap either. I want to be on an extra-solar trajectory.

Why? Because an alien armada on it's way to Earth could come across me and decide that maybe they better make a U-turn and head back to Quasar F-73 and re-think their invasion plans.

So it is written. So let it be done.


Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Did you see how Hunter S. Thompson was sent off? His ashes were fired out of a custom made cannon! For real!

I believe the funeral industry need to be taken down a peg. They prey on people who are in a vulnerable state (to say the least). I want my ashes scattered in a variety of places; Central Park, the Metropolitan Museum of Art, a casino in Las Vegas, a casino in Atlantic City and a beach along the Jersey shore. No pine box for me!

16/3/09 14:52  
Blogger Digital Fortress said...

Holy Crap!

No, I had no idea anyone else, let alone Hunter S. Thompson, also had the idea to have their remains fired from a cannon! I've been saying it for as long as I can remember.

It's inspirational, but now, no longer original. I guess I'll have to go with the shot into space plan.

16/3/09 15:32  
Anonymous fidelio said...

I can attest to the fact that you have had that idea for at least the many years that I have known you. I know you have respect for Hunter S. Thompson, but you should sue his estate for copyright infringement. The settlement may go a long way to fund launching your dead carcass into outer space.

16/3/09 16:07  
Blogger Season said...

Wow, I can't believe you changed your mind from being shot out of a cannon.

16/3/09 17:30  
Blogger Digital Fortress said...

I know! It is a difficult decision, but it had to be done.

16/3/09 20:12  
Anonymous popomatic Jeff said...

I think this is a great idea. Where do I sign up?

17/3/09 10:19  
Anonymous Sharp As A Marble said...

Sign me up as well. I want to be sent up as Bob's Big Boy.

27/3/09 10:02  

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