Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Terribly Tacky Christmas Gifts Ideas

Squirrel Feet Earrings
Have anyone on your Christmas list that either loves or hates squirrels? These beauties are made from one hundred percent real squirrel feet recycled from a taxidermist. You can choose between squirrel earrings or a necklace. They are the perfect accessories to complement that raccoon skin cap you got them for their birthday.
Fetus Cookie Cutter
Okay, who doesn't love eating fetuses? Nobody? What about fetus shaped cookies? You can serve delicious fetus shaped cookies at the next baby shower, or pro-choice rally, or maybe even the stem cell research cotillion? Still no? Well, if you happen to know someone who is weirdo enough to want to pretend to eat fetuses this fetus shaped cookie cutter will make a great stocking stuffer.
Fundies (The Underwear Built For Two)

Just when you thought underwear couldn't get any more fun...or just plain weird and uncomfortable. For the people who won't accept that there is such a thing as too much intimacy, there is Fundies. A great gift for that irritating couple who are constantly engaging in way too many public displays of affection and are are pretty much joined at the hip anyway. Here is a way of subtly trying to make them realize how clingy they've been, and hopefully, they won't be so damn annoying anymore. It could just be the gift that keeps on giving.

Decapitated Teddy Bear Lamp

This thing looks like a reject from Rudolph and the Island Of The Misfit Toys. Check out the look of confusion as that brat Timmy starts crying his head off and watch his parents scramble to explain why teddy has a light bulb instead of a head and an electrical cord shoved up his butt after he opens this wonderful present. The decapitated teddy bear lamp is both cuddly, yet functional and is the perfect gift to freak out that little kid you despise.

Dissected Knitted Frog

If you love biology, but don't want to handle actual dead animals, you'll love this hand crafted dissected knitted frog. All the organs are in place for your dissecting pleasure. You can also unpin him from the background and cuddle your dead amphibian friend, which is more than I can recommend doing with the decapitated teddy bear lamp...unless you are into electrical shocks.

The Gift Of Nothing

Ever been so mad at someone that not giving them a gift seems to be an understatement? The problem is they might just think you forgot or couldn't afford to get them something. Nothing says you intentionally left them out like the gift of nothing. Show them exactly how much they mean to you, give them the gift of nothing.

The P-Mate

Ah, Freud would be proud. That's right, women everywhere can now experience the joy that is standing up while urinating. There is no longer a need for women to lose their dignity squatting or risk unhygienic and unpleasant public restrooms anymore. While The P-Mate might be useful for women who go camping a lot or run marathons, nothing says “I'm a total freak” than giving the woman in your life a fake penis to pee with.

7 Comments:

Anonymous Sharp As A Marble said...

The teddy bear lamp is definitely a perfect fit for the island of misfit toys!

What is really weird is that the squirrel feet jewlery and the dissected frog are actually sold out on Etsy. Then you've got two USED Fundies selling on Amazon.com. Disgusting!

17/12/08 17:31  
Blogger Season said...

Those squirrel feet earrings are really creeping me out. You had to put them on here first didn't you? Are they really selling USED Fundies? What is this world coming to? And that bear lamp is just sad. LOL!

17/12/08 18:10  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

I actually like the teddy bear lamp, but I'd be afraid it would catch on fire.

17/12/08 18:38  
Anonymous fidelio said...

The fetus cookie cutter is just plain disturbing.

Rudolph and the Island Of The Misfit Toys is a holiday classic!

I am trying to imagine how many other appliances can be made out of the decapitated teddy bears. An electric tooth brush, can opener, beer coozie...the opportunities are endless.

18/12/08 10:34  
OpenID popomaticjeff said...

I remember laughing hysterically in 7th grade when I would go to Spencers in the mall and see Fundies.

18/12/08 15:38  
Blogger Terry said...

I loved Spencers!!!

19/12/08 00:05  
Anonymous Christmas Gifts said...

I love all of these ideas. I have a great tray to do a practice one, and was hoping to make some as gifts if it turns out well, Yours is a nice blog. Liked it!!!

14/12/09 09:50  

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