Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Enjoy Your Lifetime Of Servitude...

A conspiracy theory attempts to explain the ultimate cause of a usually political, social, or historical event as a secret, and often deceptive, plot by a covert alliance of powerful people or organizations rather than as an overt activity or as natural occurrence.

Although historically there have been plots successfully and unsuccessfully carried out by groups of people, the term is mostly used negatively to dismiss allegedly misconceived, paranoid or outlandish rumors.

There are conspiracy theories concerning Abraham Lincoln's Assassination, The Moon Landing, and even The Attack On The World Trade Center.

I even came across one regarding how the CIA invented crack to subdue inner city populations. I found the idea quite inspiring as a scheme to take over the world. Drug addiction makes people very certain ways.

If you control their access to the drug, you control the addict.

Now how to enact this on a large scale?

It is difficult to expose a worldwide population to a drug without their knowledge and consent.

So I explored another avenue...

There are certain things upon which every man, woman and child is just as dependent as the addict to his drug.

That's right, I am referring to food and water.

Yes, if you control those, you control the world! Best of all you can make the shortage appear to result from some other outside cause. Say economic crisis and then by the very fact that I am the only one who can supply it, I will be lauded as a hero and elevated to emperor for life.

No one will dare bite the hand that feeds them, so to speak.

When will I enact my plan you ask? How will I possibly take control of the world's food and water supply? What, do you think I am some kind of cartoon villain who would expose the details of my plan when there is any possible chance of affecting its outcome?

No. I did it thirty-five minutes ago.

Enjoy your lifetime of servitude.


Anonymous fidelio said...

Good luck with your evil plan.

I, for one, would like to welcome you as our new emperor and I'd like to remind you that I could be helpful in rounding up others to toil in your underground diamond mines.

19/11/08 13:23  
Anonymous Sharp As A Marble said...

Well, as long as you give me an extra chocolate ration I'll go might be a more benevolent leader than Obama anyway.

19/11/08 17:01  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Honesty, nobody does more to discredit conspiracy theories than conspiracy theorists. They occasionally may have a legitimate point to make, but they are VERY hard to take seriously. Their kookyness damages their credibility. To me, anyway.

19/11/08 19:41  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

are you in control of chocolate as well?

20/11/08 01:07  

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