Friday, November 21, 2008

Could You Step It Up A Notch?

It always seems strange to me how easily I am able to vanquish the cohorts of ten to twenty anonymous ninjas that frequently attack me during my daily routine. Do these men not practice? Do they take no pride in the historic art of ninjitsu? Who purports to be the trainer of these slobs? Is wishing for my ninja enemies to be better trained too much to ask for?

It usually only takes one blow to incapacitate these so called "ninjas." Why don't they know how to take a hit? I would gladly spend a day at their training facility and hit them at half or three quarters strength to toughen them up. They can never block my attacks either. Its just one swing and they are down. Pathetic.

Also, there is the issue of tactics. They always seem to attempt to encircle me and then only to come in one at a time. I thought the whole point of surrounding someone is that you can all attack in a well orchestrated flurry of destruction, but, no, that would take some kind of coordination. That would clearly be beyond these hacks. I think that my enemies just pick people up off the street and put them in black uniforms. Any respectable master would weep upon watching these farcical attempts at the martial arts.

Seriously, this is starting to get depressing...

Could you at least spare me the dignity of a worthy opponent?

So many questions...


Blogger Noelle said...

I guess even ninjas have a "phone it in" day every now and then.

21/11/08 13:21  
Anonymous Sharp As A Marble said...

Somebody has to at least try to thwart your plans to take over the world. Go ninjas!

21/11/08 16:21  
Anonymous fidelio said...

You are certainly a worthy and honorable adversary to these lowly untrained lackeys. Your enemies may require better funding; perhaps it would be best to make a donation to their efforts so that you may be properly challenged.

I’ll ask the ninja what would be best...

21/11/08 16:28  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

how about a contest between you and ninja vicki?

22/11/08 03:58  

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