Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Socks With Sandals Manifesto

I don’t wear sandals. I personally don’t like them.

My opinion is that men should not wear them.

Men are not known for their nicely pedicured feet. Usually what you are granted a full view of in sandals are smelly, fungally challenged, yellow-nailed, unclipped, hairy, bulging red toes. Almost as if they were angry that they were ever trapped inside an actual shoe and just need to show the world how they have been mistreated.

I don’t mind women wearing sandals, since the female foot can actually be very attractive. They paint their toenails and can buy a wide range of different types of sandals and end up looking stylish. Just like my little hottie, Season.

I am not sure what I hate most. Men in sandals with exposed feet or guys who insist on wearing socks with sandals. Socks have one plus though, they hide those nasty feet. Other than that socks with sandals look plain stupid and dorky.

In my new office the dress-code is casual and there seems to be an epidemic of socks with sandal wearers. Perhaps men wear socks with sandals to avoid the atrocious tan lines without them?

I don't know for sure what their reasons are, but I have created a manifesto for these misguided souls:

I will wear socks with sandals.

I will feel the open comfort of sandals blended seamlessly with the embracing warmth of a good pair of socks. I will live wild, fearless and free. The fashion police have no jurisdiction here. I will wear white socks with black sandals and black socks with brown sandals. Velcro and rubber will be interchangeable. I will be like Jesus, but with warmer toes.

I will draw power from my comfortable feet. I will defy all convention. I will remain steadfast, unwavering and boldly unapologetic in the face of all adversity for I will be comfortable and comfort will be my guiding light.

I will wear SOCKS with SANDALS!

9 Comments:

Blogger Season said...

Socks with sandals is just wrong!

I personally like to get pedicures and keep my feet "pretty". Those girls who don't, I worry about them. I don't mean you have to keep them painted, but at least keep them presentable. I, like Alberto, work with some people whose feet are JACKED UP! What is up with that?

23/8/06 21:19  
Anonymous julie said...

Wearing socks with sandals has to be one of the top ten fashion fuax-pauxs in the world! It's horrid and only a true uber-nerd who plays D&D and lives in their parents basement would wear that in public and think they looked good. Yuck! To wear it to work is even worse!

24/8/06 07:46  
Anonymous Sharp As A Marble said...

I'd have to say I hate socks with sandals, it's just so obvious that they don't go together...what were they thinking???

I like the manifesto though!

26/8/06 13:52  
Anonymous mre said...

Wearing socks with sandals is almost as good as drinking a beer and eating a burrito in your underwear on a Friday after work.

26/8/06 13:57  
Anonymous Frank The Crank said...

Wearing socks with sandals is like going swimming in a button down shirt.

26/8/06 14:00  
Anonymous Devil Duck said...

White socks and sandals aren't cool. I believe you should get your ass kicked for wearing that.

26/8/06 14:09  
Anonymous Dr. Rusty Shackleford said...

Don't do it, don't get it...it's only acceptable for men over sixty and living in Florida.

26/8/06 21:02  
Anonymous reverse_vampyr said...

Didn't wear socks with sandals in Cancun at all. Seems in really bad taste and thats saying a lot coming from me.

29/8/06 08:39  
Blogger Dylan said...

Socks with sandals is almost as bad a Manpurses, I despise BOTH! hehe...

30/8/06 18:57  

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