Sunday, August 20, 2006

Its Not The Heat Or The Humidity...

Texas' oppressive streak of 100-plus degree weather continued today with little chance of relief on the horizon and have some people worried about the well-being of the elderly.

At least nineteen people have died in Texas during this summer's heat wave. Fifteen of the deaths have been confirmed in Dallas County.

If you are like me, your mind recoils in horror at this fact: The old and decrepit are dying by mere dozens?

Fifty years ago, a heat wave of this magnitude and duration would have claimed the lives of hundreds, perhaps thousands of shriveled-up old codgers. The streets would have been littered with their withered carcasses.

Unfortunately, this is no longer the case. By providing today's elderly with unprecedented access to air conditioning and situating them in safe, supervised retirement communities, we have thrown Mother Nature's natural-selection process completely out of sync.

Some people think air conditioning is about comfort, but in Texas, it is a matter of life or death.

Like you, I had high hopes for this summer. Like you, I am deeply disappointed in the low death toll among the elderly. But I'm not just going to throw up my hands and accept the fact that Grandmas and Grandpas aren't spontaneously combusting from coast to coast. Just because global warming has failed to keep pace with the increase in this country's septuagenarian and octogenarian population doesn't mean I have to accept this ever-worsening old folk surplus.

If the heat doesn't kill the elderly, we should.

No society can survive for long unless patriots are willing to step forward and dedicate themselves to keeping its senior population in check.

Mother Nature has done what she can to curb the elderly population. It is now up to us to pick up the slack. If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. My Grandfather taught me that, God rest his soul.

8 Comments:

Anonymous reverse_vampyr said...

That cracked me up!

I'm off to Cancun with Traci, we're gonna take a few days and enjoy ourselves.

Don't put too many old people out of their misery while I'm gone, leave some for me.

21/8/06 07:43  
Anonymous Sharp As A Marble said...

"But I'm not just going to throw up my hands and accept the fact that Grandmas and Grandpas aren't spontaneously combusting from coast to coast." - That's a great line, I neearly spit out my drink.

Thanks for the laugh, this heat is way out of hand.

21/8/06 13:51  
Anonymous Frank The Crank said...

It would have been nice if the heat would have taken out my annoying neighbor, but you are probably right - I should take matters into my own hands.

21/8/06 15:45  
Anonymous mre said...

Thirty-nine days with the heat being over one-hundred degrees here in Texas! Cars are bursting into flames on the side of the road, perhaps there was an old person going for a drive. One off the list.

22/8/06 07:42  
Blogger Digital Fortress said...

Enjoy Cancun RV!

This Texas heat is out of control!

The heat is about to take me out, forget about the elderly...save me!

26/8/06 14:05  
Anonymous Dylan Hobbes said...

Came across your blog today, I liked it alot. Hope you'll come by and visit mine.

26/8/06 14:15  
Anonymous Dr. Rusty Shackleford said...

I advise against visiting Dylan's blog...save your energy for assisting some elderly people to shake off their mortal coil.

Somebody tell Al Gore to turn his weather machine to "cool".

26/8/06 21:09  
Anonymous fidelio said...

Why does he smoke? Because he is on fire for God! Is this a follower of the Great Allah showing his support? A man of faith is hard to find, but easy to ignite.

2/9/06 21:03  

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