Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Save The Cones!

The origin of the modern Traffic Cone is a mystery that has perplexed researchers for decades.

Theories abound of divine intervention and alien master plans, but there is little concrete evidence to support such claims.

The Traffic Cone; or to use it's binomial nomenclature "Conus trafficus" (Conus for short); share few similarities between any other living species today, leading scientists to believe that it diverged from the evolutionary tree quite early. Its flat foot, distinctive cone-shaped body, and lack of appendages evolved for reasons not entirely known, but widely speculated.

During prehistoric times Conus traveled in packs to avoid predation. It was then that cones began to exhibit the altruistic tendencies they still possess today. It appears that cones would gather near hazards such as tar pits and quicksand to warn others of these dangers. This behavior preserved members of their herd, and allowed the species to prosper. Other creatures learned to take advantage of these warnings too, and avoided cones instead of eating them.

Modern times and especially "The Automobile Age" was a time of profound and rapid change for Conus. Burgeoning road construction attracted cones, and most left the valleys and the fields to live on the new roads. They flocked to construction work sites, potholes, and other road hazards. Unfortunately, these new environs did not favor all cones. Species of grey and black cones that had previously flourished were rendered almost extinct, as automobiles were much less likely to see them upon the asphalt. Nature began to favor only the brightest and most visible of cones, which tended to be red, yellow, and orange, and even some species of blue.

Conus may very well be one of the most diverse creatures ever documented.

The most recent evolutionary adaptation is the "Reflective Stripe". This feature increases the visibility of cones at night. Whether this evolutionary adaptation will threaten the dominance of the Orange Cone is yet to be seen...

As you have read the Traffic Cone is a remarkably adaptable creature, but nonetheless it is a creature in jeopardy of becoming extinct.

You can do something about it by joining the Traffic Cone Preservation Society and allow future generations the opportunity to enjoy these magnificent creatures in their natural habitats.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, I saw that movie, "Coneheads."

7/6/06 22:37  
Blogger grim said...

You know, I worry too about the fate of the cones in America. Just today (there are two seasons where I live: winter and construction), I nearly hit one that was sitting in the middle of the road!

7/6/06 22:57  
Blogger Digital Fortress said...

Human-wildlife conflict is a major issue in conservation. As people encroach into natural habitats and as habitats disappear, species
populations decline in numbers or
are entirely removed from the

Where would be without the wild Traffic Cone to protect us from hazards, cracks, and slippery areas?

I'm glad you were able to avoid hitting that lone brave cone that was probably warning of a pot hole in the road. Way to go!

8/6/06 08:26  
Anonymous jenny said...

What about these guys? Do you think that some kind of gross chemical reaction occured and made them change from those innocent little cones in to the behemoth you see here? They really scare me.

9/6/06 07:56  
Blogger Digital Fortress said...

Perhaps they are an obese and/or lazy branch of the species. Their massive bulk probably makes them slow enough to not have to be worried about random cone attacks. It's those little ones you have to worry about. I always seem to trip over one in the parking lot downtown. Although it could be that I am inebriated at the's a mystery...

9/6/06 08:03  

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