Breaking Up The Monotony

I've seen some weird stuff on the internet before, but this is by far the most random...

Apparently, Ulrich Haarbürste owns a terrapin named Jetta, and has a fetish involving fantasies of wrapping the late Roy Orbison in clingfilm...

What the heck?!?!?!?

Everyone should have a dream...but, that's just plain creepy to me!

Someone get that turtle into protective custody!