Thursday, May 25, 2006

And Another Thing...

Cynicism or not, the bottom line is, everyone is entitled to their opinion whether they are a celebrity or not.

I am just tired of celebrities who spout off gibberish. In my opinion a celebrity/role model should be more responsible in what they say because they are in the limelight. They should have the common decency to attempt to have a valid point or at the minimum make sense. Just because a microphone is thrust in your direction does not excuse you from accountability.

In my research of this phenomenon I came across this gem:

Sheryl Crow appeared at the AMA's with a sequined T-shirt printed with "War is not the Answer" on it. What was the question, again?

Sheryl then drew a gasp from the assembled audience, as she cut through untold millennia of human strife and misery with a solution so simple you wonder why you didn't see it before:
"I think war is based in greed and there are huge karmic retributions that will follow. I think war is never the answer to solving any problems. The best way to solve problems is to not have enemies".

OK, now how did we NOT see that? This was the problem with Hitler and the Nazis: they made enemies. And the tanks...did they have to be so loud? "Hey, Adolph, how about a little consideration for those of us trying to sleep in"?

Now that we know the best way to solve problems is not to have any enemies, let's see what fences we could have mended with our "friends" in Afghanistan...

All they are asking is a little respect for their different - but equally valid - cultural preferences. We can clear up this little misunderstanding by making a few small compromises. All we have to do is abandon the Bill of Rights, convert to Islam, adopt Sharia, or Islamic law, imprison our women in mobile tents, remove their clitoris without anesthesia so that they don't get any ideas while we are out stoning rape victims, use our young male relatives for sexual domination since premarital sex with women is a mortal sin, kill anyone who writes anything disrespectful of our government or religion, throw away science, technology and modern medicine, murder all homosexuals and Jews, eliminate music, dancing, beer drinking, sports, television, movies and other forms of entertainment, throw acid on our daughters if they are seen in public with a male non-relative, and swear unwavering loyalty to whatever the half-blind, one-armed raving lunatic spews at us during our five-times-a-day prayer sessions.

In exchange, they promise not to fly any more of our airplanes into our buildings.

Problem solved! Who knew international relations could be so simple!

And of, course, Sheryl Crow will lead this crusade against having enemies by doing all of the above. I mean, of course she will. Right? Sheryl? Sheryl, come on, they're staring right at us. You don't want to insult them, do you? Don't just drive off in your limousine! Sheryl! Respect Diversity! You’re starting to look a little hypocritical! Sheryl! Call me! We’ll do lunch! Sheesh!

Sheryl Crow's inane comment about not having any enemies was undoubtedly meant to build bridges, mend fences, and make friends. Unfortunately, it has caused in me a rising rage. It makes me want to shake my fist at her from a mountaintop, in the middle of a lightning storm, at the exact moment of a total solar eclipse: "Eternal Enemies, you and I, Crow! Eternal Enemies”!

Wait, this is tougher than I first thought. Maybe the only way not to have any enemies is to not have any thoughts or opinions. To be a stone, a rock.

Nope, that doesn’t work for me either. I hate rocks. Grind 'em all up into gravel, that's what I say.

But, I could be wrong...

6 Comments:

Blogger Season said...

I am very proud at how this post turned out considering we went back and forth with each other for 45 minutes! It's fun to not have the same opinion, but seem to meet in the middle at some point. Great job on this one!

25/5/06 20:59  
Anonymous Jenny said...

Wow, I want to hear Season's side. It sometimes gets a little weird here when John gets fired up about something. Fun Times!

25/5/06 21:37  
Blogger Digital Fortress said...

Season can debate with the best of them!

Just call us butter...cause we're on a roll!

26/5/06 06:52  
Anonymous Alligator said...

That was so funny! :)

26/5/06 11:47  
Blogger KMAN said...

Way to go! I think "celebrities" should keep their opinions to themselves and their family and friends. When they have the opportunity to speak before anyone, they should stick to why they became famous, be it music, movies, etc.

26/5/06 16:06  
Anonymous kevin federline's wife said...

I disagree. I have like opinions and stuff. I've been quoted as saying "I think we should just trust our President in every decision that he makes and we should just support that." I know that may be a bit of a letdown in intellectual quality, but just remember who I have at home to debate with. Freakin' K-Fed. His name sounds like a cheap sneaker sold at Payless Shoes. I also had that whole Kaballah thing too, but I've dumped all that. I mean, I'm a mother now. I'm evolving. I'm so much more mature.

1/6/06 20:43  

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